I am fatter than fat.

I am fatter than fat. I mean I am so fat I broke two couches. TWO! I have no cartilage in my knees. I have developed congestive heart failure. I have diabetes. All because I am fat. I can't stand for longer than a couple of minutes. I can't walk more than a few feet. I am miserable. I have a spouse who has a bad back (no, he's not fat). And he doesn't like having to cook and clean all the time. Of course I feel guilty. Extremely guilty. and sometimes he makes comments like "you're not trying hard enough" or "i'm the only one who...". That makes me feel worse. I know he's miserable having to do so much for me...so I try to cook my meal and I fail. I can't stand at the stove long enough. the rolling stool we got so I can sit down and cook rolls away from me because I can't get my fat butt on it. As I said I am miserable and I'm making him miserable too. I don't have money to get help in to clean and cook. I was turned down for disability (so I guess I'm NOT trying hard enough). I feel like a fraud. I feel like a burden. I am unhappy. I wanted to move to an assisted living facility where they have bathing facilities I can use safely. Where someone can cook my meals. Where maybe I can get some physical therapy. And then my husband won't have to live with this burden. He can do what he wants when he wants. He won't have to look after me. I know most people say lose weight. I have dieted but not successfully. I can't exercise because of my knees and my chf making me lose my breath. Sounds like a lot of excuses? walking a mile in my shoes...err...sit a mile in my shoes. Do you know what it's like to be in the shower and have the shower bench collapse under you because you're so fat? I slid to the floor and couldn't get up. My husband had to struggle to help me up because I am so heavy. yep...Life is miserable for the morbidly obese. Shame, embarrassment, feeling like a burden, it's all a great package of misery. I need to be shut away from society because no one wants to look at a fat lady. (I don't go out because I am an embarrassment and because what would I do? I can't walk and I can't afford a scooter). Life isn't a bumby road....it's a dead end for me.

Whatever happened to...?

I finally located this blog. It's been 7 years since I posted to it. I think a few people have wandered in here and read some of my posts since then. That surprises me. A lot has happened in the last 7 years. Needless to say one thing that has happened is that I no longer feel the need to have a blog. so good bye.

Rare Austin Magazine

Worth a look. Pick it up free around town or subscribe to a monthly home delivery.

Motivation!!

Coping with the Elderly

Wow, so much has been going on I totally lost track of time. I have been busy with the usual, but I am also coping with (second hand) the issues of elderly parents my friends are dealing with. I have one friend who is working on getting her parents settled into a nursing home/assisted living environment and another who's elderly mother just passed away. So many people I talk to are dealing with issues for their parents or elderly relatives who are 70, 80, and even 90 something years old.

Living longer is not necessarily a blessing. I realize that life being cut short is a horrible thing, but once you reach a stage in life where health is just getting worse and you emotional and mental outlook is grim...it's just not a good thing. Fortunately for me, my mother is doing ok right now which is really a blessing. Yes, she is tired all the time and sleeps a lot, but she isn't "suffering", so I feel pretty good about her situation in life. It's just that things could change drastically in the blink of an eye.

Has it been this long since I posted anything?

Gosh, I didn't realize I had been so busy that I hadn't posted anything. It's just been a whirlwind of activity. Unfortunatly, most of it has been related to work. I will try to catch up with things this weekend and spend some time blogging.

Saturday

It's a busy Saturday and a beautiful day outside right now. Unfortunately, I still have the dregs of that summer cold which is annoying the heck out of me. Looking forward to the sniffles going away. I think I will go get a pedicure to make me feel better and get ready for the party tonight. Maybe I will even get a manicure to go with it! Ahhh, the joys of pampering yourself.

What's up around town? Lets see, I am sure there is some sort of bike ride or walk or run going on, there always is in this town. The Farmer's Market at the Triangle on Lamar looks like it might be open now. Jamie's Spanish Village is having a tribute to the late longtime owner Jamie Tamas. The Lavendar Fest is going on at Becker Vineyards. The Yellow Bike Project is celebrating it's birthday today at Ben's Long Branch BBQ. And I was mistaken about the dates of the O'Henry Pun Off, apparently it's this weekend? That's what the chronicle says. This is just a smattering of the MANY things to choose from around town this weekend. So get out there and do something!

Finally Friday!

I made it to Friday. I didn't think I would this week. It's been a long week. But now the weekend is just around the corner. Big plans for us this weekend. Party on Saturday and Brunch on Sunday. Friends in from out of town. Lot's of Fun! I hope everyone has a terrific weekend!

This Week: San Angelo

Yes, here I am in San Angelo, Texas. There's nothing wrong with the city, as far as I can tell. It has a really nice river (the Concho River) that runs through town. They have a park area around it that is very pretty, especially right now since they have had lots of rain. On a previous trip I stayed at a hotel near the river and took a stroll down the walking trail. It was lovely until some "Attack Geese" came after us and chased us back up the trail!

The drive here from Austin was gorgeous! The wildflowers are everywhere, red, yellow and even some blue bonnets. The hills and fields are really green right now since they have had so much rain lately which makes the drive even prettier. It does take about 4 hours to get here (45 minutes of that time is to get out of Austin) so it is kind of a long haul.

Unfortunately my summer cold is still wrecking havoc with me, so I didn't get out much except to work and to go to the local Albertson's for provisions. I have been here before though and there is a great steak house on the edge of town call Twin Mountains which is a good choice for dinner.
As well as the cafe and saloon, Miss Hattie's has a museum of the bordello. Sounds very interesting! Miss Hattie's They also have a small cafe call Miss Hattie's which used to be a bordello. Apparently it was in operation until the Texas Rangers shut it down in 1946. I haven't been to it yet, but my friends say it is well worth it. Chances are I will be back here again soon, so I will get to try it out.

The Hampton Inn here is nice and clean and the beds are very comfy. It's easy to get to from the highway as well. I highly recommend it. I do have one comment about Hampton Inns, they give you little styrofoam cups to drink your coffee out of in your room. YUCK! Need to upgrade to real mugs Mr. Hilton! Haven't you heard styrofoam is bad for the environment??

Next Week: Amarillo! Woo Hoo!

Summer Cold

I have been suffering from a summer cold this weekend. What a rotten way to spend your weekend off. Sneezing, sniffling and coughing. Ugh. And now it's time to return to work. So unfair.

Mother's Day Tribute to My Mom

My Mother was very active all of her life. When she was just out of high school, she attended nurse's training in El Paso Texas where she became a Registered Nurse. During World War II, she worked at the army hospital in El Paso. She met my father after the war, got married and quit "working" for bit while she had two children and traveled the world with my father who was in the military. Once my father retired from the Air Force, they settled in Austin. My mother quickly became active in the life of the community here. She and my father joined a small, new Presbyterian Church in their neighborhood and were very active in the congregation. She also volunteered at the library at my elementary school. When we kids got old enough to stay home in the afternoons by ourselves, my mom went back to work for the Austin Health Department, inspecting Head Start Day Care Programs all around the city. Very few mothers worked outside the home in those days. But she was still a great mother to us even working full time.

Once I reached high school, my mother, now in her 50's, decided to return to school. She began working on her Bachelor's degree in Sociology at Texas State University in San Marcos Texas. It's about a 30 minute drive from Austin. But she did it all week long, by herself. An unusual thing for a 50 year old woman back then. After I left for college, my mother, having obtained her BA, went on to the University of Texas for her Masters in Library Science. Once she graduated, she began working for the Austin Independent School District at the Materials Processing Center for the school libraries.

When my mother retired from AISD, she really started getting involved in the community. She mentored children in reading at the local grade school because she believes so strongly in reading and education! She was (and still is) big into recycling. ACH! We never throw anything away in our house because it can be recycled somehow!

My mother served as the president of her neighborhood association and for many years.
She often spoke in front of the City Council on behalf of her neighborhood. She was an integral force behind the building of a permanent structure for her neighborhood's library. In honor of her efforts, a conference room was dedicated to her there. Mom was also in charge of the distribution of the newsletter for the neighborhood association. She made sure all the routes were covered by volunteers and even walked her own route delivering newsletters for several years. She learned all about computers in an effort to keep up with the newsletter and the neighborhood association. All of this community activism really started for my mother once she was in her 60's and 70's.

About 4 years ago, my husband and I decided to give up our house and move into my mom's house. She was about 83 at that time. My father had passed away and mom was living alone in the same house that I grew up in. We didn't want her to have to move from her home or to leave the neighborhood she had worked so hard for, so we stored most of our furniture and squeezed back into the old house. It's been 4 years now, and mom is 87 years old. She's losing her hearing, walking a little wobbly, and not too good with the short term memory at times. I have to say my husband is a real sweetheart. He manages to cope with her very well, but it's frustrating at times. My mother would really would like to get around better and not be so tired all the time. However, old age has caught up with her. She still tries to do things that she really shouldn't do now. I know it makes her upset when we caution her or when she isn't able to do what she used to do.

All in all, it's hard to grow old. But the one thing my mother hasn't lost is her sense of integrity. About her family, her friends, and her community. That's the one thing I know she will always hold on to and that's the one thing that truly makes her a very special person and a terrific mother.

LINKS:
Windsor Park Branch Library
Windsor Park Neighborhood Association
Northeast Austin Caregivers

Whole Foods Is Eating Up the Competition

According to an article in the Austin Business Journal (Store openings eat into Whole Foods' profit,Austin Business Journal - 10:05 AM CDT Thursday, May 10, 2007),
Whole Foods Market is thinking of buy up one of it's competitors, Wild Oats Market. I used to be a Whole Foods Market Fan until they built that new mammoth store on Lamar that's like some sort of amusement park ride to get in and out of. Now they are gobbling up their competition like some giant monster. Really, this store gives organic foods a bad name. At least in Austin we still have Wheatsville Co-op and Sun Harvest as well as the more main stream Central Market to shop in, instead of Whole Foods. I think I am through with the Whole Foods Market industry. I can remember when Whole Foods first started in Austin in a small little store north on Lamar from where they are now located. It was like a neighborhood store. Business practices aside, Whole Foods stores have become too big and unruly to shop in if you go to the bigger markets. The Austin Business Journal also mentioned that profits were down some this quarter for Whole Foods due to their investment in several new stores. Is it the age old story of too much growth too quickly?

I Love Ugly Betty

I don't know why, but I love the show "Ugly Betty". It's just different. And I can relate somewht. I am/was an Ugly Betty, just with out the big heart, the loyalty to family and friends and the pleasant nature. Ok, so I am just Ugly...but that's close! I never miss an episode and of course just in case I TiVo it at home to make sure I don't.

San Antonio

I'm in San Antonio this week. I like coming here to work, but I don't think I could live here, it's far too conservative at times. I especially like going to my favorite spots over in Alamo Heights and Terrell Hills. There is some great architecture through out the neighborhoods there. Last night we saw a classic arts and crafts home complete with large sago palms in the front yard that was delightfully restored to it's original condition. We drove by the beautiful mansion on New Braunsfel which now houses the McNay Art Museum
and enjoyed the old Spanish style design. The San Antonio Botanical Gardens had two stunningly unique glass hot houses that just amazed us. And of course there is Broadway with the interesting shops and stores. Unfortunately one of my favorite places along Broadway, Earl Abels Restaurant has been torn down to make way for condos. Isn't that just the way!

Ealier in the day we were in Southern San Antonio by the Missions, which we inadvertently managed to drive by on our way to a provider. We also got to see the old Stinson Airport, an intersting old place. They are renovating parts of it though to expand the little cafe, add some shops and increase the size of the airport. I hope they maintain the integrity of the architecuture there, it's just so classic WPA era.


I think the green lushness of everything made it everything even more attractive. They have had a significant amount of rain here this spring and all the grass, trees and plants are growing by leaps and bounds. In fact they had really heavy rains early Tuesday morning with high winds that broke some limbs off of the trees and dropped lots of leaves every where.

The traffic here is a little crazy right now with all the construction on I-10 and Loop 410, but it moves along, slowly, but at least it doesn't come coming to a complete halt like it can in Austin.

"Places I Like About Austin" Has Moved!!

I moved this to it's own blog site at AustiNative's Favorite Places. Feel free to link on over there. It's like my own little "Best of Austin" series! Enjoy...

Eeyore's Birthday Party

It feels like I blogged about Eeyore's Birthday Party just the other day, but apparently it's been a full year. We missed it again this year, like we have the last 10 years or so, but that's life. When I was younger it was one of THE things to do in the spring in Austin. Now that I am older, mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...not so much.

We were shopping at Central Market this weekend and the checker (who was much younger than us) had just been to Eeyore's for the first time. She was thrilled with it. We told her we had both been to it many times in the past but we were now much older and didn't go anymore. She looked at us like she was thinking: "Yeah, right. You are old and probably never did go to Eeyore's. Or if you did, it wasn't as cool then as it is now. I'm NEVER gonna be as old as you and not want to go to Eeyore's." We just smiled and walked away thinking, "Just wait, honey, we thought we would never get old either!"

"Ah well, perhaps one has to be very old before one learns how to be amused rather than shocked." --Pearl Buck

Stuck in Fort Worth

I have nothing against Fort Worth. It's a fine city as cities go, but to be stuck here working and staying in a hotel for 4 straight days, isn't fine. I have suffered through torrential rains and thunderstorms with hail and tornadoes while I have been here. I have worked long days and spent little time relaxing after work, before I go to bed just to get up and do it all over again. This has been a long week. Luckily I am here with some really nice people who have made this week a lot less stressful. That is what makes this kind of trip bearable. Traveling with co-workers who support you, laugh with you and understand you. So thanks to them, I will not lose my mind before I can climb back on that plane to Austin tomorrow. I would rather be home in Austin. This isn't the same type of town as Austin. The people aren't the same, the restaurants, the scenery...it's all different. I miss the hills, the trees, the laid back atmosphere Austin just seems to exude. Most of all I miss my husband. And no matter how far I travel, Austin is my home and always will be. HOME! I am ready to be there!

Old Austin Music Scene

I went to see Beto y los Fairlanes last night at the Elephant Room and they were as good as ever! This morning I just started cruising the internet to see if any of my old haunts like the AusTex Lounge were listed and I found this great site:
THE COMPLETE ILLUSTRATED LIST OF VULCAN GAS COMPANY. Many thanks to Dennis Hickey who has a nice history of Texas Music and Austin in particular written up on the site. The Vulcan Gas Company was a legendary club in the late 60's and early 70's. A really good time for Austin. I particulary was found of the little dives like the AusTex Lounge, the Alamo Hotel Lounge, the original Hole in the Wall...the list goes on forever. You can link to a list of "dead clubs" in Austin at http://www.samopc.com/deadclubs/deadclubs.htm.


Outside the Vulcan Gas Company circa 1967

Interesting Events in Austin this Month

Thutsday April 19
The Harry Ransom Center
21st St. And Guadalupe
Austin, TX 78713

The earliest known permanent photograph taken by Joseph Nicephore Niepce in 1826 of the view from his window wil be on display. This is part of their Focus on Photography program series. The HRC is celebrating its 50th anniversary this year. You can go to their 50th anniversary website to view an interactive timeline of the Center's history, photo galleries, and more.





Beto and the Fairlanes
Friday April 20
9:30pm

Elephant Room
315 Congress Ave
Austin, TX 78701



One of my all time favorite Austin bands is playing at the Elephant room this Friday! They have a unique sound that is purely Texas. It's a can't miss opportunity!

Waterloo is 25!!!

Waterloo Records is celebrating it's 25th anniversary with a concert in the parking lot today from 11:30 a.m. to 7 p.m.. It's free , but donations will be accepted at the door to benefit Health Alliance for Austin Musician(HAAM). They're having food and drinks provided by Waterloo Ice House and Amy's Ice Creams. The event is sponsored by AT&T, the Austin Chronicle, Shiner Beers, 107.1 KGSR, Whole Foods, Seattle's Best, and Whole Earth.

So get on down there, you've already missed alot of the free fun!!

The Lineup Includes:

12:00 - Carolyln Wonderland
12:25 - Ruthie Foster
1:00 - Grupo Fantasma
2:00 - Brothers & Sisters
3:00 - Joe Ely
4:00 - Zykos
5:00 - Eisley
6:00 - Omar & the Howlers