Midlife Crisis or Hell on Earth

I suddenly stopped posting in January. My life got too complicated or I became too complicated. I am reaching the "midlife crisis" phase, better known among women as menopause. Suddenly I have been flooded with emotions that are very painful. I am having all sorts of regrets about my past, worries about my future and indifference about my present life. Along with all the emotional turmoil I am experiencing there are, of course, the physical issues which are too many and too random to go into right now. The thing is, I can't control any of this. No matter how hard I try, I can't shut it all off or tune it out. The thoughts and feelings just happen. Sometimes it feels like I am being forced to relive all my past transgressions. I have started likening menopause to Hell. Hell where you spend eternity being reminded of all the mistakes you ever made, people you hurt and wrong choices you made. It's very painful and not the least bit enlightening. I am unable to pick out any thing useful from reliving all these experiences in my head, just the feeling that I was and am a real sh*t.